You Got Me Going In Circles...

Have you ever had that one? The person that gets you. Says all the right things. Can turn you on like a light switch. That’s your MAN (or WOMAN).

But…

He (she)’s not really yours.  

I’d like to refer to this person as Ole Faithful. You know the one you always go back to after that relationship didn’t work out or you need just a little quick fix. No matter what, they are always just a phone call away.

I’ve had my share, and chile it is time to share my survival story. Pull up a chair and let’s get into it!

It all started with a tweet and a song that connected us. Mr. Man slid into my DMs with that sweet talk, and I ate up every word. Having a tall, dark skinned, career havin’, alpha male oozing of masculinity to enter the chat was not the plan for that night, but who am I to turn down the opportunity?

After that night we were pretty much inseparable. Phone conversations that lasted for hours. Date nights left and right. I mean he was ultimate gentleman. He had my nose wide open. I was looking for him in the daytime with a flashlight. And then one day, the batteries died. He hit me with the “So I’m seeing this girl, and I’m about to ask her to be my girlfriend”.

 FLAG ON THE PLAY.

N**** what?! So all of this time, we were working towards NOTHING?! To say that I was hot is an understatement. I mean this man really played me! After a few not so nice words were exchanged, I let him be. Or so I thought, until a few months later when I got the infamous “Hey big head” text.

And the cycle begins.

I figured if I can’t beat him, might as well join him. So that’s how our game went. He would get with someone, that would end, and he found his way back to me. And then the tables would turn. I would entertain someone else, break it off, and found myself back in his life, his car, and ultimately his bed. If you looked in the dictionary next to toxic, that’s where you would find us. But I can’t lie, the toxicity tasted like sweet victory (you know what they say, the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice). Just call me Beyonce because he seriously had me drunk in “love”.  

Our little back and forth lasted for YEARS and they were full of false promises, sneakin, other people, and lust.

And then the moment came where he invited me to come through for the weekend. I was about to be flewed out for the first time so best believe I was on the first thing smokin. And what a weekend it was! He wined and dined me, and filled me up with drinks, pieces of himself that I desired, and those dang sweet words again. I thought FINALLY, we’re going from relations to relationship! But the only thing I ended up with was a broken heart and a trip down the family planning aisle of CVS.

During the longest two minutes of my life, I tried to figure out how can I possibly have a family with someone who can’t even commit to me for more than a month or two at a time? After many tears (of joy AND sorrow), I made the last call and told him it was over. It was time to put myself first and leave him to be with the one I’m sure he was trying to seriously pursue anyway.

Now, that old flame has found a new candle, and I am a stronger woman because of it. Ole Faithful may not have been the most faithful, but he pushed me to be faithful to the most important person there is: ME.

Okay friends! Now it’s your turn! What’s up with you and your Ole Faithful? Head on over to @theemergingadult on IG to share your story!