"You Speak so Well": Microaggressions in the Workplace

I studied hard in school. I maintained above a 3.5 GPA while caring for a newborn. And I managed to graduate with honors. I am not vain by any means but there are so many different compliments that could be given that speak to my attributes as an employable person. I expect words like determined, hard-working and driven. All qualities that would benefit any company. Instead, I would receive “well-spoken”, “articulate”, or “proper.” I didn’t know this was a microaggression until it kept happening, until it didn’t matter what my resume said. I didn’t see it for what it was until I realized that how I spoke and how I looked was the determining factor regarding my employability.

I had my first experience with microaggressions in a professional setting six months after I graduated with my Bachelor of Arts in English. I was at one of my very first interviews. I followed all the rules. I made sure I had an extra copy of my resume and I dressed to, hopefully, impress. But none of that mattered once I opened my mouth. The ability to string together cohesive thoughts and vocalize them in a professional manner always astounded my interviewers. They never expect it from me, especially not after they see me.

It has been five years since I’ve graduated, and I’ve gone on a handful of job interviews since then. Each time I was offered the position, which was not as often as I would have hoped, the number one praise I received was that I spoke so well. Sometimes they even threw in that my resume “actually” looked really good. I always felt that my ability to actually land a job was because of my ability to effectively communicate while black. If I did that, they seemed to ignore my actual blackness but only if I didn’t flaunt it. I couldn’t go to an interview with my hair in its proud natural state and ‘wow’ them with my credentials or articulation skills. I could never display pride in my blackness and expect to be welcomed into the corporate world.

Unfortunately, microaggressions don’t always end at the interview. I held a position with a non- profit organization for two and a half years when one of their managers left. Seniority says the position is mine simply because I’m the most qualified to do it. To them though, I was the most qualified to discuss diversity and inclusion practices. They thought offering the position to a black female “checked off” those two boxes. They didn’t expect me to know my worth. So, when the position was offered to me with no pay increase, I constantly questioned it. I refused to be bulldozed in to accepting a position with more responsibilities and not reap some form of benefit. The praise and encouragement that I received, in hopes of me accepting their ridiculous offer, was that I was a “well received and well spoken” face of one of the organization’s projects. In the end, I stepped down and watched someone else take the position and reap the benefits. Someone that fit their aesthetic more than I ever could, so they were more willing to hear her demands. Leaving the position that I loved was a hard decision, but I don’t regret it.

Employers aren’t the only ones guilty of microaggressions though. I’ve encountered clients, vendors and co-workers that have commented on how well I speak or my ability to dress professionally when the occasion calls for it. I no longer let them go uncorrected. I don’t regret any time I’ve stood up against these microaggressions and made people uncomfortable. I anticipate having to do that for the rest of my professional career. It may cost me opportunities, but I’ve learned that my value cannot be determined despite my blackness.

I am black AND I am valuable.

-Morgan Ernst