My Dating Truth

Hey y’all! It’s been a minute since we’ve spoken, and an even longer minute since I last gave an update on my love life. After listening to all of my past love horror stories, I think you will be quite surprised as to where I am now. I’ve kept you waiting long enough, let’s get right into it!

I’ve been single since May of last year. After that break up, your girl kind of went a little crazy with the men. You know how it goes. It was the same ole wash and repeat.  I went through that cycle for a good 6-7 months and it was not for the weak. 

After a while, that lifestyle was weighing me down. One day after the last tumultuous situation, I woke up and realized that I was over that and I deserved so much better. I literally hopped up that day, scheduled a therapy session, made a playlist (because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t), and decided that it was time to be a better version of me FOR me. It was also during this time that God really laid on my heart to write a letter to the men that I once (thought) I loved. I dusted off my journal and the next thing I knew I had PAGES written. I poured out my heart to Ronny, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, and those in between and I held NOTHING back. I told them about how they hurt me, how they loved me, and how I am choosing to forgive and leave them in those moments that we shared.  To add a little razzle dazzle, I wrote a letter to myself and God too, and let me just say:

GOD DON’T PLAY ABOUT ME. 

I mean I’ve always known that, but literally ever since I wrote that letter to Him my love life has taken a turn for the better. It’s like He heard my transparency and prayer to do better and honored them. It’s to the point where I try to explain a past situation to someone and I literally can’t even recall their name. Now, I may meet a guy and in a matter of days they vanish off of the face of the earth. The old me would try to wrap my mind around what I may have said or done to make them ghost me, but this Tia right here?! Chile, I thank God for protecting me and keep it pushing. Clearly it was a reason as to why we didn’t work out and it's not for me to try to understand. 

For the past couple of years, I have made it my business to try to have a Hot Girl Summer, but this summer I chose the complete opposite and I love that for me. For the first time in life, I feel healed from these ninjas and complete within myself. Now don’t get me wrong, sis is loving this season, but she still very much desires the love of a beautiful black man. I mean, let’s not get crazy here. I’m enjoying the freedom of not holding on to past traumas and getting to know what this version of Tia truly needs and wants from a man without projecting that “this is the one” mentality on each one that I meet. Quite frankly, I am a vibe and everyone can’t handle that. I can finally say that I understand that and am moving accordingly. 

Even though I have grown by leaps and bounds in this area of life, I’m nowhere near perfect. There are still moments that those old thought patterns and actions try to sneak up on me, but instead of leaning into them I make it my business to shoot them down as quickly as they come. 

I think Destiny’s Child said it best; “ain’t no feeling like being free, when your mind’s made up and your heart’s in the right place”, and at last I can say that I wouldn’t have it any other way.