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The FALLs of Life: Identity Crisis

“You’re so proper”.

“Such an Oreo”.

“Why are you so bourgeois”?

“Girl stop being so dramatic”!

These are just a few examples of what I’ve been called over the course of my lifetime. Sometimes you hear things so much that you start to believe that they’re true. The same happened for me. I started to feel like just because someone said something about me I had to attach it to my character and who I was, whether if it was true or not. It wasn’t until recently that I made the decision to go against the grain. Keep reading to see how I  fight back with my own thoughts and words about who I really am!


Spend time with yourself.

I’ve found that one of the perks of living alone is becoming your own company. Some of my deepest self reflection moments have been sitting on my couch with only my journal and complete silence. Spending time alone helps to discover your likes, dislikes, values, boundaries, and so much more. If you live with others, find a spot in the house and designate some time to be alone and discover your authentic self.  

Revisit the past.

The past is the past for a reason, but it’s there to help us learn, grow, and prepare for the present and future. Different experiences and situations shape our perspectives about who we are and how we view ourselves. In some of my therapy sessions, I had to go as far back as my toddler years to help me discover why I think and believe certain things about myself. It’s okay to revisit the past, but don’t stay there. 

Surround yourself with close friends.

My friends mean everything to me. One of the qualities I love about them is their willingness to tell me the truth, even if it’s ugly. They help me uncover my true self, layer by layer. They remind me that my quirks and weirdness are not hindrances, but enhancements to what I was created to be. Most importantly, they always redirect my worth and my identity back to where they belong: God. Get you some friends that’s going to see the real you, even when you can’t see if for yourself

Understand it’s a journey

 You’ve created this life around what you’ve believed for the past 20+ years, that belief will not away overnight. I have to fight for the real me each and every day. The same maybe true for you and that’s okay. Don’t be afraid of change. Uncovering these thoughts about yourself and the motives behind them is a scary thing. It’s easy to go back to what you know and what’s comfortable.  It’s okay to discover a new piece of you and change the way you think on more than one occasion; don’t let anyone guilt trip you into thinking anything differently. 

How were you able to discover your true self? Let me know in the comments below!