The 3-Letter Word...How to be Content Without "IT".
Yep I did it.
I have officially survived celibacy for five years. (*cues slow clap*). In this world today, it’s not easy being in your twenties, single, and not having sex. We’re either considered weird and lonely, or crazy and damaged goods. I don’t subscribe to any of these outlandish stereotypes. Celibacy can be a cringe-worthy word, and often one that is swept under the rug. Today, I am ripping away that label and sharing a few ways to be confident in going against the grain!
Be strong in your why
There are a few reasons why I chose the life of celibacy. The biggest reason is my personal religious beliefs. I am a Christian and once I rededicated my life back to God in college, I decided that I didn’t want to partake in those acts any longer. I choose to honor Him, and that includes with my body. I know that my present sacrifices and obedience will be honored by gaining a husband who truly loves and honors me even outside of the bedroom. Outside of honoring Him, I truly can not see myself with a kid at this moment in time. I work with kids Monday-Friday and after spending a few minutes with them I understand why I am not a mother quite yet. I am not prepared mentally, emotionally, or financially and I am totally okay with that!
Remember that it is your decision.
I get side eyes and unwarranted opinions all.the.TIME. It’s crazy to me that society has become so sexualized that doing the opposite makes you seem like a circus act. I’ve heard everything from my needing to test drive the car to needing a little company every now and then. My answer to that is always: ‘I’m good”. Been there, done that and had the soul ties to show for it. No matter what anybody says, my choice to test drive every car I want or sit patiently in the car dealership’s lobby is simply MY choice. And no one will make me feel guilty for choosing what’s best for me.
Keep accountability partners close.
I have a few friends who knows all about my story and has made it their business to keep me on the straight and narrow. I remember in my previous relationship, anytime we were going out by ourselves, my best friend would text me at a certain time to make sure I was okay and wasn’t out there being too “grown”. Yes we’re all adults and yes we should be able to handle ourselves accordingly, but let’s be real, being alone with someone you care for can be tempting. Having someone to remind you of your commitment to yourself makes it a little harder to fall.
Know your triggers.
Yes it’s been awhile, but let’s face it, I am still human. Just because you haven’t ran on that treadmill that’s been sitting in your garage in six months doesn’t mean the treadmill doesn’t work. I’ve learned that there are certain things I can’t watch or listen to, especially in large quantities. Sometimes I have to take breaks from social media, watching TV or listening to secular music in order to refocus. Guarding my eyes and ears is an important key to remaining pure.
Focus on living your best life.
Listen, I am out here booked and busy in these streets. When you’re out here working and accomplishing goals, you hardly have any time or energy to even think about sex. I’m working full-time, working on a few master plans, enjoying brunch, hanging with friends, and the list goes on. With everything going on, at this point in life, I am grateful for being able to fall peacefully to sleep without having to feel that tap on the shoulder.
I never in a million years think I would be a single 26 year old “born-again” virgin, but yet, here I am and proud of it! Everyone’s journey is different. I understand that celibacy may not be the route that everyone decides to take and that’s okay. At the end of the day, you have to make the best decision for YOU!
What are your thoughts on celibacy? Let me know in the comments below!